realistically i think i find tumblr a more interesting place for myself. this has to do with the fact that i find what really interests me to be the things that influence me, the things that mount up on my radar and cause me to think or relax or feel as though i am in the presence of beauty and usually all three. this blog though has a place and will continue to still have a place. in fact i am interested in giving that place more focus, as in using it to talk about what i have been ingesting and create combinations/permutations/possibility for what that might mean to myself and my own suitcases of prior thought and experience. this is hopefully going to amount to, slowly, but surely, an eventual place to house something like essays/creative nonfiction. bear with it if you would like because in all likelihood it will be a process.

lately i have been very future minded. the past seven months i spent in sicily were interesting in the way in which they presented to me an entire place in which though it would seem i would feel right at home, given my strong sicilian family history, i did not. the ways in which i did not weren't all together evident, they were slippery, being felt to a certain extent, but being fairly easy to deny or at least create simplified excuses for and then move on operating under the fantastically easy assumption that their essence had been sussed out, found to be impossible to alter and so... though in reality that being the case did not then go on to create a kind of understanding by which i was taken as different, but capable of being integrated into a system of what existed, rather it was a little of that and more of: so, now you are here and you are the one who is going to have to do the bending. this interestingly to me seems to span far more than just my particular experience in sicily, it seems to feed into and permeate a lot of the reading i have been doing lately and the general theoretical work going on in politics, economics and society.

this is nothing new, the first time i started to really think about this was in professor cohn's macroeconomic class... but what is new now is the introduction of things which have the potential to shape this impossible to describe, yet inevitable feeling of future. the cynism and sometimes necessity of the argument that there is a lack of clarity about the particulars of what a post-capitalist world would look like... one where things are going to change regardless of people's, institutions', ... lack of desire to want to or to know exactly how to. we are writing along the way.

part of the problem which might arise here and otherwise in my own daily life is that i am always talking within a continuium, of the stuff i have been through and the stuff i am reading and thinking about and most of it is happening outside of say my particular interaction with this particular person. this is because in part because we are not so neatly placed in the same continuium as we might have been when we were in school together or worked together or were in one way or another involved in the same world even in slightly different ways most of our days and, so here is a place to create context, a place to sit down and write and have a record of that writing, if one so chose, to be able to fairly enlighten someone else and allow them to step in enough to start to make some kind of real empathetical connection/contribution with what i am going through/thinking and then begin to also make that work both ways through the hoped offer of some shared interest type furthering discussion and materials...